Thursday, November 1, 2012

At a Crossroad in Life


Like Dorothy Gale in The Wizard of Oz, I am at a crossroad in life.  I know what my desired path is and I am actually on it and well on my way.  I know where I am headed and I am learning to take my hands off of the details of how exactly I am going to get to the end result.  My job is only to know without a doubt what it is that I desire and makes me the happiest.  After that I need only give thanks knowing that It is DONE.  The how is not for me to figure out, but instead that is when the Universe steps in moving heaven and earth to makes things so. 


When I say that it is not my job to figure out the details, that does not mean that you sit back and do absolutely nothing.  Sometimes your Magic Presence wants you to take a certain action that will assist in leading you to what it is you desire.  It is very important to listen to your intuitiion, or an idea that seemingly pops into your head that resonates within you.  That is your Magic Presence communing with you.  It is very important to pay attention to your intuitive and resonance faculties.  You will know that it is an inspired idea because as soon as you think it it feels right.  You immediately are saying YES to it.  If you have any feelings that says "this doesn't feel right" or makes you uncomfortable in any way, then it is not an inspired thought.  An inspired thought from your Magic Presence feels really, really good and makes your heart sing.


If you get an inspired thought and you do not follow through, often times the thought will come up again.  That is your Magic Presence recognizing that the window of opportunity is still open and you still have time to take the action that It knows will get you to what you desire.


The Munchkins tell Dorothy to see the Wizard because if anyone can help her to get back home he can.  Dorothy will have to travel to Emerald City to see the Wizard and to get to the Wizard, she has to follow the yellow brick road.  I am now following the yellow brick road to Emerald City just as Dorothy Gale did.
 

I have worked within corporate America for so many years.  Much more years than I really cared to, but it paid the bills.  It also enabled me to travel quite a bit while I was in my twenties.  When I was 31 I was able to move out of New York City and live in the Catskill mountains of Upstate New York.  I lived in the Catskills for thirteen years and loved every second of it.  I purchased my first home in the Catskills.  It was a circa 1790 federal row house that I loved living in.


The only thing that was negative about the time I lived in my first house was my place of employment.  It was beyond horrible.  It was a start up company and I was employee number 53.  It was such a joy working there when it was a small company and I loved going to work.  The problems started when the company began to grow.  The more people you have to deal with in the workplace the more twisted personalities you come up against.  I work as a payroll administrator.  That has been my line of work for over twenty years.   At this particular job I had to work closely with the human resources manager and she was a witch and a major b*tch.  Shortly after the company hired her, she began making my life a living hell.  I will not go into the details because I do not want to rehash the memories, but this person made sure that I did not get the higher raises I deserved and she tried her best to get me fired.  Luckily for me my manager knew what she was trying to do and blocked all of her efforts to have me fired.  When my manager moved on and I started reporting to someone else, my outgoing manager told my new manager that she had to watch my back and explained about the viciousness towards me from the human resources manager.  I worked at this company for five years and during that time I went through three managers and all of them (thank God) recognized what the human resources manager was trying to do to me and always had my back.  However, each day that I went into work I had to be on my guard because the HR manager would do all kinds of under handed things to me.  It was as if she got up out of bed every morning thinking up ways to make my life hell at work.  I was so stressed out that I developed atopic dermatitis, which basically is stress induced eczema.  I broke out all over my body from head to toe and dealing with that was also a nightmare.

The company ended up going through a series of organizational changes and the HR b*tch was eventually let go when the company eliminated her position.  When she was gone that is when I found out that what she was doing to me, she was actually doing to quite a few other employees in the company.  The entire time I thought that she had singled me out.  Believe it or not it made me feel better to know that I was not the only one.  I found out that one employee was so stressed out by the HR b*tch that she was going to beat the crap out of her but was talked out of it by another employee who was also in the HR department.   I won't tell you the HR b*tche's full name but her last name was Bridges and the initial of her first name is S.  What a super b*tch she was and what she did to me affected me profoundly for a long time.


After that job I decided to look for another line of work, so for just over two years I worked for a major healthcare company processing healthcare claims.  I won't tell you the name of the company but their policies and some of the people there made it a place that I did not fit into.  I am a very good employee.  I have a very good work ethic and I am a team player.  I feel that since you spend so many hours at the workplace that it should be a pleasant place to be.  I cannot deal with back stabbing, gossip, unreasonable workplace rules or treating employees as if we do not have feelings and lives outside of the workplace.  Often times in the corporate world all that management cares about is the bottom line (money).  I understand that companies are in business to make money and I don't have any problem with that.  I just do not think it is too much to ask that employees be treated decently and fairly.  

  
Where I work now is a very good company.  I have always enjoyed going into work there.  I am again back in my field of payroll administration.  In the nearly six years of working there I went through three managers.  All of them have been a pleasure to work with and always recognized that I do what I do extremely well.  It is also a company that produces green technology, which is important to me, so I believe in what they are doing.  While I do enjoy my work and the company, it still has its negatives.  My salary is not what it should be according to my experience.  I am at least $10k under paid. As employees have come and gone in my department it has changed.  I still enjoy working there, but I feel that it is time for me to end the chapter of my life where I am working inside corporate America.   As a payroll administrator I see things that are very unfair when it comes to employees salaries, raises, bonuses, etc.  Some of it is really hurtful but I have to grin and bare it.  I wish the company much success but, it is time for me to make a much bigger difference in this world.  I am at a crossroad.  

        
I can either keep doing the same thing that I am doing, or follow the yellow brick road to Emerald City.


I put on my red magic shoes and decided to follow the yellow brick road.


I am on my way to Emerald City to do what it is I came into this world to do and fulfill the rest of my heart's desire.  I will talk more about that in another post.  

  
                          


4 comments:

Sixpence and A Blue Moon said...

You are on a magical and fabulous journey...one that sounds like a lot of fun.

My brain is not my friend when it comes to these things, I am guilty of trying to figure out the details of how the dream could possibly come into reality - and by the time my brain finishes, I have figured out there is no way. :) I am working on this...I'm trying to leave the details to a higher power...and just believe my dream will come true.

You sound like a woman who can make dreams come true once you set your mind to it. I admire you for this.

It's better not to visit some memories too often. How wonderful that you endured some of these unpleasant working experiences - It's not easy to work under these particular conditions.

I am thrilled for you, for the wonderful journey you are on to Emerald City...and look forward to hearing more, and to journey with you on this exciting trip.

Wishing you a beautiful weekend ahead.
xoxo

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

Good luck, follow your dreams. Hugs, marty

collarcitybrownstone said...

Yes, I AM indeed on a magical journey and I am making it fun.

The ego likes to use the words want, how and need a lot as a way to talk you out of what it is that you desire. The ego also likes to analyze everything all day long. That is how it convinces itself that it is smarter than any other power in the world.

When you desire something, act with feeling as if you already have it. It is already DONE and you are so excited about it and thankful. This is very important and crucial to its manifestation. There are tools and assistance from the Higher realms to help you with this if you feel stuck. They will all appear in your life when you are ready. Your sleeping splendor is waiting for you to knock on the door.

You have a beautiful weekend too.

Love,
Xenia

collarcitybrownstone said...

Thank you Marty.

Love and hugs!
Xenia